two weeks later..

Yep, still married.

Nope, nothing changed.

A big thanks to our friends who gave us two weeks to "become acquainted." Um, okay.

So, this page will stay up, and most likely be kept in an archival state. We certainly hope you've enjoyed this as much as we have.

And the final cost thing is done, over to the right there. Hey, considering, I think we did pretty well.

ah. sweet, sweet release.

Minds out of the gutter, please.

Instead of recapping what so many have said before, I will share a couple things that not a lot of people knew. Or said, anyway.

I am a very lucky man. Very lucky. Not only am I surrounded by people that wish me the best and with whom I'll get old with, I am married to the woman of my dreams. And she's only my second girlfriend ever. How about THAT for luck?

-I was never nervous. Never. While the ladies were getting ready, though, I was very anxious to get started.

-Being at the Vodka Moxie show twelve hours before the wedding. I did miss "my song", though.

-Paul and Andy are two great guys who I'd, well, go to the store with. To hell with "going to war." They kept me grounded and laughing the whole time.

-The Jaguar we rented so sweet beyond words.

-Never underestimate the power of "Woo-Hah!".

-Because I'm a geek, I did everything possible to get pictures up. On my wedding night, no less.

-Believe it or not, my wedding night was spent with twenty friends, talking smack and enjoying our State Suite, which is bigger than our apartment. And, if I may teeter on the brink of TMI, we went to sleep after we kicked everyone out. That's it.

-As soon as we clean our apartment, we will have a Movie Night so others can enjoy the big-ass TV. :)

florist followup

i paid a visit to nice lady yesterday after work. when i spoke with her on tuesday night, she told me that the best she'd be able to offer in terms of restitution would be 1/3 of what we paid, plus the $15 delivery charge. troy and i talked about it and decided that if we couldn't get more, we'd be ok. and that's what we got. i know some of you will be disappointed b/c i didn't go in with guns blazing, but here's why i didn't:

1) if the flowers had been late *and* weren't what i ordered, then i would've thrown a larger fit until i got all of my money back.

2) given the owner's behavior, i actually had very low expectations for any type of refund, so getting some money back is like an added bonus.

3) the flowers weren't that expensive to begin with. they were pretty low on the priority list. now, if something had happened with the reception or anything hotel-related...grrr.

4) as someone wisely pointed out to me on saturday, if this was the only thing that went wrong on my wedding day, then i should consider myself very lucky. and i do. so that's that.

why the wedding was late

(note: this is kinda long. if you heard about the flowers and about how i was going to respond, then you should get a kick out of this.)

"August 5, 2003

(insert name of owner here)
(name of florist here)
(some location downtown)
VIA FACSIMILE: 312-555-5555

Dear (owner):

Over the past two months, I have been working with (really nice lady who works at your shop) to design and deliver the flowers for my 11:00 a.m. wedding on August 2nd. (Nice lady) has been nothing but gracious and helpful throughout this process, and I wish to commend her for her attention to detail and ensuring that I received everything I asked for. The flowers were wonderful and exceeded my expectations.

However, I must write to you to share my extreme dissatisfaction with the level of service I received on Saturday, August 2nd. (Nice lady) and I agreed that my flowers would be delivered to the Hyatt Regency Chicago between 8:00 and 8:30 a.m. I have attached a copy of my order receipt that shows the name, address, and phone number of the hotel, along with the delivery date and time. I last spoke with (nice lady) on Thursday, July 31, to settle the bill, confirm last minute details, and pick up the silk petals I’d requested.

My maids of honor and I waited at the Hyatt Regency until approximately 10:15 a.m. on Saturday. I began calling the hotel concierge at 8:15 a.m. to inquire about the delivery – it never arrived. Numerous attempts were made by both the concierge and myself to reach someone at the shop, but the shop was closed and there was no answering machine or voicemail system activated.

After leaving notice with the concierge to have the delivery person call me on my cell phone and have the flowers brought directly to the church, my maids of honor and I left the hotel. We decided to stop by the flower shop on the off chance that maybe there was a problem with the delivery. The shop was closed. The security personnel at the building were nice enough to look up your contact information, in the hopes of finding out where the flowers were. When one of my maids of honor called your home, your wife told her that you’d delivered the flowers. We explained the situation as best we could. We then called the hotel concierge and the church to confirm that the flowers were not at either of those locations.

It was during this process that you arrived at the shop, carrying two shopping bags. My maids of honor confirmed that these were indeed the missing flowers, took possession of them, and left the building at approximately 10:45 a.m. While en route to the ceremony, I discovered that the shopping bags only contained the boutonnieres and corsages, and not the bouquets. We then made a return trip to the shop, only to have you give us large centerpieces. We explained that there were no centerpieces on the order, and after some detective work, you found the bouquets in the walk-in refrigerator. We left, all flowers in hand, at 11:00 a.m.

Thanks to these two unnecessary trips to your shop, my wedding started 90 minutes late. There are no words available to me to express my feelings throughout this ordeal. I can think of a multitude of ways to spend the hours before my wedding, and chasing after my flowers certainly does not make the list.

It is with all of this in mind that I am writing to request a refund in the amount of $yyy.yy, which reflects the original total of $xxx.xx minus the $zz.zz cost of the rose petals that were already in my possession. If this matter is not resolved to my satisfaction in a timely matter, I will have no choice but to share this story with my credit card company and the Better Business Bureau. I can be reached at (my phone # here) or via email at (my email address here). I look forward to hearing from you by the end of the week with an acceptable resolution.

Respectfully,

(me)"

i got home last night and there were two voicemails from the aforementioned nice lady, asking me to call her at the shop or at her home. it took two voicemails b/c she was so flustered by what happened that she couldn't remember her home phone. i'm not kidding...the first message actually said that she'd have to call back once she caught her breath.

so i talked to her last night and she apologized profusely. which made me feel bad for like 1.5 seconds b/c as i told her, it's not her fault. she did her job: she designed and arranged everything. it's the owner (who was also the delivery guy on saturday) that dropped the ball. apparently he and his wife are so upset that they don't want to talk to me, so nice lady is stuck in the middle. which sucks for her b/c she knows that they screwed up, but in the interest of the business and her job, she knows she can't do more than what they tell her in terms of restitution. i'm going to the shop after work today to see what the final amount will be. if the owner's smart, he won't be there. i can suck it up and be civil to nice lady, but there's no telling what will happen if he shows up.

sigh.

i'm following jim's lead and typing stuff i remember in stream-of-consciousness form. in no particular order:

--picking up chichi at o'hare
--worst.hotel.room.view.ever.
--watching the hotel channel and pointing and giggling whenever the crystal ballroom aired
--"my brain hurts." (me at numerous points throughout the past week)
--kelly giving me her cold from 3,000 miles away and it disappearing on saturday
--kim and i realizing that "it's finally thursday!"
--"hot and ready $5.00" (i really hope that picture comes out well)
--hey arnold urban games (so NOT endorsed by urbantherapy)
--the "cool" car vs. the "conservative" car
--"too many!"
--singing "the gambler"
--"eulalia, will you buy me cigarettes?" (jim every 15 minutes on thursday night)
--me happy because i only lost $20 at blackjack. i started with $30 and made it last for almost 2 hours
--jim's tremendous blackjack hand
--"why are you staying on 13, lady?" (me and laz)
--laz agreeing to buy me liquor for the weekend b/c he won so much
--troy and i up on thursday night finding church-appropriate music
--realizing that we don't own a copy of the wedding march
--i can't find the placecards...but that was b/c i'd given them to chichi for safekeeping
--whaddya mean (insert name here) missed their flight?
--andy driving a blue jaguar full of minorities to the southside on a friday night
--white castle
--tremendous, done and done, fanfuckintastic
--mmm...chipotle
--the rehearsal that wouldn't start
--me not swearing at nathan when he called at 1am on friday
--"dude, you're getting married tomorrow!" (anna)
--mmm...butter cookie
--kim really hating traffic and stupid cabdrivers
--realizing that i REALLY miss my west coast friends
--loudest.ringer.ever.
--where are my flowers?
--no, seriously, where the hell are my flowers?
--the hotel concierge being really nice about the whole lack of flowers thing
--erica's aunt making the wise suggestion of us going to the florist
--chichi and erica saving the day b/c i was too mad to speak
--them holding me back when i lunged at the owner/delivery guy
--mom welcoming everyone to the family and my friend lori promptly putting in an order for cake
--where's the tylenol?
--"divorce is not an option."
--worldly possessions
--cornbread. ain't nuthin' wrong with that.
--y'all can't manage to say "we do" in unison?
--greg refraining from making me laugh while walking down the aisle
--marc being the bestest b/c i totally forgot he was there a majority of the time
--and for making me look good
--and for snapping shots of me laughing so people know that i'm not always sticking out my tongue
--jumping the broom and not falling (although the pic proves that i came pretty close)
--everyone crying but us, apparently
--quickest.reception.ever.
--inadvertently abandoning troy during the first dance
--the groom on the cake topper not being true to scale
--"dude, you're married now!" (anna again)
--"who's next?" (pretty much everyone)
--"this is bigger than our apartment!" (us walking into our suite)
--andy's 7-minute salute
--chichi commanding everyone to use the reception cameras
--"shouldn't you be having sex?" (kelly every half hour on saturday night)
--tim and the wall
--"it's good to be queen!" (me all weekend, basically)
--mmm...tequila
--"dude, we have a doorbell!" (me)
--brushing my teeth while drunk
--dancing jim
--collapsing laz
--swearing nathan
--drunken chichi
--the look on laz's face when he came back to the church only to realize that the ceremony was over
--"i'm not having sex: i'll drink the rum!" (kelly)
--45 minutes
--being coherent at 9:30 am on sunday
--"i wore a burgundy dress and the fiery pits of hell didn't consume me!" (me talking to maya on saturday)
--my family not embarrasing me, aside from james' outburst at the reception during someone's toast
--the chicken story (it really is true, folks)
--no football? ok, let's go bowling
--stop raining already!
--funniest.cab.ride.ever.
--mmm...leona's.
--sex and the city
--"no, nothing's changed." (me and troy)
--inappropriate giggling and smirking during the ceremony
--"you're not gonna announce the kiss?"
--christopher walken
--pictures. lots and lots of pictures.
--breakfast with sesame street
--"you had a push-up?" (me to andy on sunday night)
--"whaddya mean you're leaving? boo!" (me to pretty much anyone who left at any point during the weekend)
--james leaving us the best welcome home voicemail
--"dude, we're legal now. heh." (us to each other)
--"my kingdom for a toaster and a can opener!" (me last night while making dinner)
--woo-hah!
--all that stress about music and only four people used the dancefloor
--everyone thinks we're drunks b/c we now have like 5 sets of wineglasses
--averaging like 4 hours of sleep the past 5 days

Where do i park this thing?

For those coming to the hotel, straight from

The parking for the day of the lunch is $16...guests just have to mention that they are here for the wedding. Overnight guests still will have the $35 parking, but at least it helps a little! :)

So that helps a bit.

you mean i could get paid for this?

from one of the job sites i frequent:

position: on-call wedding assistant

job description: the on-call wedding assistant will assist in the organization and execution of all weddings at (insert church name here). such duties include: assist in organizing and managing the bride, groom, family members, guests, ministers, florists, house staff, photographers, music, bridal party members, etc. address questions and problems from bridal party and family and monitor entrances to sanctuary to ensure wedding is not interrupted inappropriately. the right candidate will have exceptional organizational, interpersonal and communication skills, flexibility, physical stamina (8-10 hours running around on foot) and punctuality. please submit your resume to...blah, blah, blah.

i'm all for making money, but dude...

welcome to the wide world of wow

dude. there's a massive tv in our living room. i can't wait to play with all the buttons on the remote control. thank y'all so much...and i swear i had no idea wtf it was until it arrived this morning. i've been beating troy up all day b/c he knew and let me suffer all week...fucker. in troy's defense, though, i will say that this is payback for all the times he's tried to surprise me and failed b/c i always guess what the surprise is.

my sisters-in-law threw a shower for me today. a lingerie shower. considering the potential of freaknastiness that could have ensued, things were pretty tame -- the talk around the table was more raunchy than the gifts. which is ok b/c my family is in quasi-denial about us living in sin. and i got to bring home balloons! and barb got me a stuffed owl so i wouldn't threaten to steal hers. and i got to hang out with my friends and family and act silly...yay!

but dude. we have a new tv. wow. it's freakin' huge! and we'll organize some type of screening so you can all see the fruits of your labor.

help us answer this question: when is the whole "you're not supposed to see each other before the ceremony" thing start? we have rehearsal on friday evening and then we're gonna try to catch nick's show. is it after rehearsal? after the show? midnight? does it even matter as long as i don't see him the morning of?

if we manage to stay organized, we'll put up a list of urbantherapy wedding sanctioned activities...like gambling on thursday! all you out-of-towners hurry up and get here already -- who knows when we'll converge like this again?

surprise!

It all started earlier this week, when we got a voicemail from ABT Electronics to "call and set up your delivery date" for smething bought by "Kimberly Miklusak and friends."

W. T. F.

So I call em up. I get a custmer service lady.

Me: I'd like to schedule a delivery. (gives my order number)
Her: All right. When do you want your TV delivered?
Me: ...
Her: Oh, it says here, "Do not tell customer what the item is."
Me: ...
Her: (pause)
Me: ...
Her: I am SO SORRY!
Me: Um...how about Saturday, then?

So I knew, only because of the fact that one lady couldn't read the oredr form right. I then called Kim and got the depth of the ruse: 20 people involved in buying a pimp-ass digital TV.

Damn.

We are absolutely blown away by the combined effort of our friends, and we are frigging awed by this bomb-ass TV.

Guess they'll be a Movie Night at some point. :)

i ain't neva scared.

"Are you nervous?"

I'm going to say it here and now, and I'm going to mean every word: I am, in no way, nervous. You're nervous if you're making a mistake, or if you're in a high pressure situation. I am in neither.

When I was a kid in Sunday School, they would always call on me to do the lesson recap in front of the church. It was a huge church, and this was my show businesss. Man, I'd bring it, and I'd remember Dad's lessons on elocution and not saying "..uh.." and what the lesson was about, and I had 'em shouting and amen-ing. I wasn't nervous then; why would I be nervous at an event in which all I'd have to do is repeat after the pastor and say "I do"? Does this make sense to anyone else?

If anything, I'm hype. We got people flying in from everywhere, and the only thing I'm afraid of is not being able to sit down with all of them and talk a bit and BS some before they have to go. I have the end of a family drama (hopefully), I have the beginnings of another, I got my road dogs backing me up, and I will be looking GOOD. Believe that.

So let it be known. I'm not nervous. Dammit.

you don't bring me flowers...

i have decided that even if our flowers are the epitome of asshatness, i will not be very upset. my florist is a nice lady (she gave me her home number, for crying out loud) and with the prices she's giving me, complaining would be relatively stupid. i'll have troy add the flower costs to our running total once we get final numbers.

writing thank you notes are fun. i say that now b/c i only did a half-dozen or so. troy made me promise to use better than my normal handwriting, so if you get a note and you can actually read what it says, you have him to thank. i cannot promise such miracles for anything i write after tonight. my handwriting is craptastic -- all i can do is try to make sure i spelled stuff correctly.

if you waited till the last minute to book your hotel room like someone we know, you've probably discovered that our room block is sold out. if you want to stay at the hotel, your best (read=cheapest) bet would be to bunk with someone who has a room already and share the costs, or at least give them a few dollars towards the room bill. y'all can work that out amongst yourselves.

as for the drunken debauchery on saturday night -- troy and i have decided to be gracious enough to host y'all in our suite. final details will be worked out that weekend, once we know where everyone is in terms of room numbers and whatnot.

the sears gift mystery has been solved, by the way. and in case you need a reminder, we're registered here, here, and here. we also have individual wish lists set up on amazon for your shopping pleasure and convenience.

Keeping counsel.

First off, due to their demands, I finally have the best men text up.

We had pre-marriage counseling yesterday, and it was, well, funny. The counseling itself wasn't funny, but the events surrounding it were. We'll probably throw up a synopsis on the main page at some point..

Anyway, we don't seem so, but we're both semi-religious (e more so than I) and it was important to get, well, the heavenly opine. We went to her church and visited with the officiant, who's been her pastor for a LONG time.

Under normal circumstances, there is a series of counseling sessions: at least three sessions of "go home, think about this, write it down, and bring it back." However, since we were a bit late with getting this out the way, we had "express counseling."

So what ultimately happened was that he brought some things to our attention; things, he said, to remember after the glitz and shine of the wedding is over and the marriage thang starts up. He started us by asking why we wanted to get married, and read some Bible verses that deal with the relationship husband and wife are supposed to have.

One verse in particular, is one of those oft-quoted-out-of-context joints: "The wife must submit to her husband."

Oooh.

But what the Bible Belt asses don't bother reading is the verse before that, which says that a husband and wife must submit to each other. Its kinda hard to justify a screwed-up philosophy by including the WHOLE thing, isn't it?

Have I mentioned we do this already? Not tooting our own horn, but a relationship as emotionally and psychologically screwy as ours would have gotten nowhere if we hadn't talked about everything. There have been some conversations that are uncomfortable for sure, and we expect more to come, but we see enough examples in our parents and people we know and/or love to know that simply not talking about it doesn't make it go away.

So, that was that.

Hey, two weeks to go...

attention shoppers...

would the person(s) who bought us a certain something from the sears gift registry be so kind as to e-mail us? we got a fantabulous gift today, but we have no idea who to thank! your assistance is greatly appreciated. :-)

hotel reminder

the deadline to reserve your room for the wedding is thursday, july 10th. if you haven't booked yet, the hell are you waiting for? a special invitation or something? :P

also, if you know you're coming or even if you know you're not coming and you haven't mailed that handy SASE with your rsvp card, take a few seconds, fill it now, and pretty please put it in the mail. mail the card even if you've called or e-mailed us to say that you're coming or not coming. and thank you to those of you that have called/emailed your rsvp's, and a giant thank you to everyone who's mailed their rsvp's in. yay for y'all! :-)

seriously, though...if you know you're coming and you know you're staying at the hotel and you know you haven't reserved a room yet, do it now. info on how to book a room is below.

For the convenience of our guests, we have reserved a block of rooms at the Hyatt Regency Chicago for the weekend. The hotel is located at 151 E. Wacker Drive, just off the Magnificent Mile. The rooms are reserved for Thursday, July 31st until Monday, August 4th.

The special rate for the room is $108/night for single or double occupancy. All room rates are subject to state, local and any occupancy taxes in effect at the time of the wedding, currently at 14.9%.

To make your reservation, please call the Hyatt Regency Chicago Reservation Department at 312-565-1234 or toll-free at 800-223-1234. Rooms within this block cannot be reserved online, so calling is the only way to guarantee a room at the special nightly rate. Tell the person on the phone that you’d like to reserve a room for the duration of your stay. Mention the group rate and the House/Hunter wedding room block. If they are unable to find the block, then have them check under the UrbanTherapy wedding room block. The deadline to book your room with the group rate is Thursday, July 10th. There are no guarantees that you will be able to reserve a room after this date.

Please contact us once you have made your reservation, or if you encounter any problems while booking your room. Enjoy your stay!

love for sale

it's weird enough that people are actually coming to this thing, but people actually wanna give us presents! who knew? since folks have been asking, here's info on where we're registered and all that.

target
linens-n-things
sears

and we both have wish lists at amazon.com.

and the cool favors i ordered for the reception will be here soon.

if you're reading this and you haven't mailed your rsvp, please do so right now. i mean it.

it's the questions...

leave comments with your answers to the following ?s, please.

--what day are you getting here?

--when are you leaving?

--are you staying @ the hotel? if no, then why the hell not? :-)

--if you are staying at the hotel, would you be interested in sharing a room w/someone?

--who's down to host a night of drunken debauchery in their room after everyone's had a chance to take a nap after the reception?

--who wants to go gambling w/me and laz at some point during the weekend?

basic cta directions

go here for detailed directions -- the ones i'm about to give you are from memory.

from the hyatt to the church:

walk to state and lake and get on the red line heading south. get off at 95th street, which is the end of the line. transfer to either the #34 or the #119 bus. both of these buses stop at 114th and michigan. get off at 114th and michigan and make a right. go past the fire station and the row of houses. the church is on the corner -- the main entrance is on state street and those are the doors you'll want to use.

from the church to the hyatt:

walk back to 114th and michigan. get on any of the buses (#34, #119, and a pace bus that i can't remember the number of) heading north to 95th and the dan ryan. get on the red line heading north and exit at state and lake and walk to the hotel.

i think cta's site also has metra directions, so check there to see if that's an option.

and the winner is...

i think we may have to launch an urbantherapy wedding awards. as the date gets closer and the potential for craptasticness and/or hilarity increases, we should be able to recognize some of the little things that we come across. i get the feeling i stole this from kim and nick, though, so i won't take full credit for it. yet. =)

for example, in the overall category of rsvp's, some of the awards would be awarded to:

earliest rsvp: tie b/t deb & her family (troy's co-worker) and kim & nick

cheesiest rsvp: barb and pete (although i doubt v. seriously if pete's responsible for drawing the heart around the "i" in the "i will/will not attend".)

smartass rsvp: frontrunners would be maya & keith. 3 1/4 guests, indeed. wtf is that...you're bringing the cat and a midget as special guests? but it did make me do a laughing double-take, so it counts.

i think there should be a special award for anyone we manage to find (outside of my family) w/in our circle of friends/acquaintances/people we know that was actually surprised/shocked by the news of our engagement. i'll have to give that some thought.

and the majority of the invites are now out the door. hooray!

of family and blood: a subplot

"I gotta right to be hostile."

I'm going to share something, if only to get it off my chest. If any of my family reads this, well, I'm glad you can read.

My father is the oldest of five or six. Three of his sisters own an apartment building on the South side, where they all live. When I was in college, I would take that long-ass train trip to 79th Street and hang out with them sometimes. You with me? Good.

So summer of sophomore (or junior) year comes up, and I am offered a job over the summer in one of the tech labs. This could have been a prime job opportunity, or it could have been nothing, but in any rate, I needed someplace to stay. My father asked one of my aunts if I could stay with her, since she had room. He'd kick in some dough on food and all, and I'd commute between Evanston and the South.

My aunt had fallen head over heels in love with this guy who looked like Alan Thicke, I swear. I had stayed with her in the couple of weeks leading up to school, and, in that time, I found his porn. Now, a man and his porn is not to be trifled with and strewn about, especially when it's vintage Betamax porn, y'all. My attitude towards porn has always been, "Cool. Your business. Just don't leave it out in the open."

Of course, in the room I was sleeping in, that was his former "relaxation room," there were porn tapes EVERYwhere. I tripped over them. Of course I watched them; what else could I do? But I marveled at how he just left it all open and such.

What I didn't know at the time was that he surely didn't like me around, as I was a nephew of the woman of the house, and had gotten to stay that way, and he could do or say nothing about it. So he campaigned, when summer came around and I had the job offer, to not let me stay there. The campaign was successful, and I took my ass back home to LA to wait out the summer.

What miffed me more than anything else was that no one would SAY anything to me; no one would tell me why. The other aunts who lived in the building professed to not knowing anything, although later I found out they did. The aunt who refused permission wouldn't say anything about it, and the last time I talked to any of the aunts living in that apartment building was 1997.

So, fast forward to getting these wedding invites out. My father wanted me to invite my aunts; I had initially said no. They haven't called me in six years, and I live in the same area code. They profess they LOOOOVE me, but for the two times we were supposed to patch this thing up and talk openly, they canceled on me at the last minute. When one of the aunts was in the hospital downtown, I told them to tell me where she was and what she was in there for, and THEY WOULDN'T TELL ME. So how am I supposed to feel?

I thrive and confrontation, and I appreciate frankness. I could have been told once they kicked him out (he was found later to be exposing himself to one of my cousins) what had happened, and they were sorry it all went down like that, and lay the truth down. I get NOTHING for my efforts of finding out what happened and making peace. They want me to come to the apartment building, and I refuse to. Meet me halfway. I am not a vassal to be summoned to the castle on the hill when the queens deem it time to do so. I got my own little kingdom up here. Show me you give a damn and meet me downtown.

Surely, I'm probably a bit hardheaded, and perhaps a bit selfish. But this episode has put into action just what I couldn't have known years ago. My father wanted all to be patched up through him and his role as intermediator; "They're blood." True, but blood does not equal family. Family gives a damn, blood just happens to be related. And while all my actions have been rebuffed, theirs consists of telling another aunt (who doesn't live with them) to tell me to come by the house anytime. How am I going to look getting invited to someone's house by someone who doesn't even LIVE there?

So, the ending? The entire family's invited to the wedding, and their invitations are in the mail. Let's see if they respond.

this is normal, right?

as the wedding date gets closer, i find myself getting more excited about seemingly trivial things. i've spent the past couple hours updating our registries and picking out favors for our guests. a good chunk of that time was spent figuring out exactly what type of container would best suit the favors. and i'm supposed to be quasi-studying today, too. i'm also thisclose to becoming addicted to wedding shows on tv. "a wedding story" on tlc and "i do i do" on lifetime (oy!) are easing their way into my regular tv watching rotation.

i'm trying to chalk this up to the fact that it's june and i'm going through some type of wedding sensory overload. i blame the media. y'all know me -- i'm not the most conventional type of would-be bride, so obsessing over favors and aisle runners and actually asking troy the following question is nothing less that weird.

"hey...i know you don't really care, but for the reception tables, would you want confetti hearts or rose petals?"

lucky for me troy didn't crack up laughing or look at me crazy when he gave me an honest answer. he was also cool when we went to our menu tasting and i started going on about how i wanted napkins arranged at the tables. i shit you not. my catering manager and i spent precious minutes of our lives that we can never get back discussing table linens and napkin folds. troy and andy can vouch for this.

i guess i should be lucky that i'm not turning into an obsessive bridal bitch. not yet, anyway.

in other news, the first wave of invitations are going out this weekend, i'm closer to finding an inexpensive florist i like, and we have our marriage license. whee!

of printing...

Man, I'm tired just recounting this episode. Basically, we had planned to have the invites printed and in people's hands by now, but NO, I had to get so artsy and crap, that I finished designing them last week. What follows is the steps taken in the last five days. Remember, we open this act with the invites designed; all we have to do is get them printed.

- We go to Paper-Source and I pick out bomb -ass paper, along with envelopes. I buy a few of each, just to test. In the meantime, one of the good people in my company's design department takes my design and makes printer-ready files from it. Rock! So far, all is cool.

-The printer prints me a proof, and they frigging RULE. I call over to Paper-source, and they tell me that the paper I want isn't available in the quantity I want at the store, so they'll have to call the warehouse the next day. Cool. So far, not sucking.

-Kaboom. They don't have the paper. They don't have the frigging paper,a and they won't have any more for two weeks. The printer shows me the stock they have, and it sucks in comparison to what I've picked. I am at a loss.So the invites, already late, are gonna be later. Dammit. But hey; they have the envelopes en masse.

-Wait a minute! They can get the paper in by Friday! We've okayed the proof; the printer just needs the stock. They close at 6; the paper folk say they can have the paper ready to go between 4-5:30. potential for suck: High.

-The paper folk call,. They got it,r ready to go. Somehow, I am able to walk three-quarters of a mile up Michigan Ave. and not one bus passes me. Good ol' CTA. I walk up about a quarter mile, and get to the store. I run across the street and buy markers for decoration purposes. I leave the store at 5:20.

I get on a bus that, by my gut, will get me close to where I need to go, three quarters of a mile ion the direction I've came. John Cusack said it best: "I've been relying on my gut...and frankly, my gut has shit for brains."

I have to get off the bus, and have a half a mile to go. I refuse to look at my watch, because it would only piss me off. I am now loaded with two bags if paper,a and of course it looks as if its going o rain. Suckiness: Hard.

I pull up to the building the printer's in, and I still refuse to look at my watch. Keep going, I think. If they're closed, then we'll have a bout of curses, and take our ass home. I walk fast naturally, and at times, i've broken into a jog. Combine this sudden hurry with the fact that my muscles, most fo which were utilized for the first time days earlier at hockey practice, are plotting mutiny. I hurt, people.

I pull in. The guy who's handling my project looks at me, sweaty, funky, and out of breath, and says, "Man, we were just closing. You just made it." I look at the clock above the door.

5:58.

So,, the invites are getting printed on the spiffy paper, and I have started on the envelopes, and the printer's supposed to have them ready by Monday evening/Tuesday morning. The first round should be in the mail by Thursday.

So ends that episode.

what...the..hell.

What is the deal with businesses who you want to partronize, and you call them, and they never call you back? That makes no sense to me.

I caled a printer that one of the designers I work with suggested; she said that they did her right, and they're a small shop, so they care more about each piece of business. That made sense.

I called them up Tuesday, and talked to the proprietor. He sounded cool, and I was going to go by their place to start the process later that week. "Call before you come," he told me. All good, because I'm not trying to go on a epic CTA trip only to find that the place is closed.

I called once Thursday; no answer. Left message. Called yesterday from work; no return call. Called today, no one picks up the phone.

So now I'm going to the "evil" corporate printing spots. I'm all for the Mom and Pop spots, but this needs to be done, and done quickly. Not returning calls is some bull.

dancing and pictures and presents...oh my!

on thursday night, we went here in an attempt to further our dancing skillz. it was fun in a "i can't believe we're spending so much time concentrating on steps" way. good thing we're not actively planning on massive amounts of "traditional" dancing at the reception.

the contract and deposit are on their way to marc. we're about 2.5 months away and the only "major" thing we need to sew up is a florist. am i stupid for thinking flowers shouldn't really cost a gazillon dollars?

during last night's storm, we had fun starting our registries online. etiquette says that the bride and groom aren't supposed to tell guests where to buy them stuff. in theory, you're supposed to ask the best men and best women and family members where the happy couple's registered. so saying that our registries at target, sears, and linens-n-things are in progress would be in bad taste.

this week's focus will be on invitations and flowers. and attire for troy and the best men. and other stuff as we think about it.

saving moments in time...

So we have a photographer.

Marc Pagani (Pa-GAH-nee) is a cool mofo. He has a sweet-ass camera, and has done quite a bit of work. If any wedding is in need of someone who can get the candid joints, this is it, and he seems to be in the right places. Thanks go out to Barb, who referred me to someone who referred me to him.

The more I think about it, the cooler/more informative it would be to have a running total-thing going on the right side....

So that's that. Next, invitations.

As it suits you...

Friday evening, Andy met Nick and I out in Golf Mill, to get to Men's Wearhouse. I've had good experience with them in buying a suit, and they're a nationwide chain, and their big thing is service and quality and blah blah.

I'll be the first to admit that, while I have style by the bucketload, its hard to tell amongst my closet full of jerseys and Docker pants. I own three four pairs of shoes, with one pair being the dress-up variety. In short, I am lacking in the clothing department.

So this was a fact-finding mission; trying to see what works and what doesn't, all within a "don't be tacky" edict from e. So, the fellas roll and get our formalwear groove on.Nick is along to be an impartial pair of eyes; Andy and I have to get measured and all of that.

The saleslady, first off, was a distraction. She was short, and attractive, and had a low cut shirt on, and every one of us admitted to having a hard time at some point during it all to refocus to her face. And she had great eyes. However, as soon as I let the cat out of the bag that we weren't really going to BUY anything that trip (this was a fact-finding mission, you remember).

Second, and this is no indictment on Men's Wearhouse as a whole, but it was pretty clear that we came in not knowing much. Colors were up in the air, and the look was up in the air, and we wanted to see how these things looked and make a decision from there. We got none of that. Perhaps I was thinking that the "education of the customer" was a real concept, or that, in some cases, coming in to buy something didn't mean you knew everything there was to know about what you were buying.

For example, when I go buy a video game system, and I ask a question fo the salesperson, they have their own experiences as well as the company line to give me info about what I'm buying. They can give me details on what I'd need to play the system, how to hook it up, etc, but the information needed to make a good purchase is there and in ample supply.

With suits, its different, or at least it was Friday. I didn't know the difference between single- and double-breasted suits, and I could have looked on the Internet for it, but to see it and wear it is another thing altogether. Only by asking a veiled question ("In your opinion, what's the aesthetic difference between single and double breasted suits?") did I get the answer I wanted.

We tried on jackets, then pants, looked at shoes, and looked at shirts and tie combos, and I think we came up with some good ideas.

What was good about this whole thing was I actually DID something. I went out and got info; I took a solid step forward in getting what I need to get done, done.. I'm not the kind of person who likes to sit and get buddy-buddy with the salespeople in an effort to figure out what I need and how to go about it; I tend to go in, get my stuff, and leave, but one thing about this wedding this is that very little of what we're getting and dealing with is like that. We're going to have to engage in dialogue, look at things and ask about them, to taste and feel and smell and get our hands dirty.

And that feels good, in a way.

so where y'all gonna sleep?

long promised...here's the hotel info for y'all. we tried really hard to take everyone's feedback under consideration before we signed the deal. with that said...

the "official" hotel of the urbantherapy wedding is the hyatt regency chicago. most of y'all are familiar enough with chicago to understand what i mean when i say that it's on wacker drive just off of michigan avenue. i don't have the exact address in front of me right now, but you can find it online.

the extra-special rate for the weekend is $108/night for single or double occupancy. that rate does NOT include your bar tab or anything else, and i'd be remiss if i didn't include this tidbit from the contract: "All room rates are subject to state, local and any occupancy taxes in effect at the time of the Function, currently at 14.9%."
for our purposes, the weekend is from thursday, july 31st until monday, august 4th, b/c we know there's some of you who may want to get here early and/or leave a little later. here's how to get it:

--call the hyatt regency chicago reservation department at 312-565-1234, or use their toll-free number at 800-223-1234. their online system isn't set up for reserving room block rates, so you'll have to go the old-fashioned route.

--tell the nice person on the phone that you want to reserve a room for the duration of your stay. mention the group rate and (THIS IS IMPORTANT) mention the urbantherapy wedding room block. if that doesn't work (MORE IMPORTANT STUFF), then have them check under the house/hunter wedding room block. if they still can't find it after checking those two (YUP, I'M USING CAPS AGAIN SO THAT MEANS IT'S IMPORTANT), tell the nice person that you'll call them back. check in with one or both of us and let us know ASAP so we can work with our hotel rep to get things straight.

--the deal is that your credit card won't be charged until you actually check out. if the nice person tries to tell you otherwise, tell them you'll call back and talk to us.

--once you've made a reservation and gotten a confirmation and all that fantabulous stuff, email us and let us know. there should be plenty of rooms for the lot of you but it'll be nice for us to keep track of these things.

--the deadline to book your room at this rate (HEY LOOK!) is july 10th. if you haven't booked by this date, you are screwed out of getting a room at the above price.

if you run into any problems with the nice reservations people, let us know immediately so we can try to fix it.

oh, and keep the comments on the music thing coming. :-)

music...makes the people...

...yeah, i don't feel like quoting the rest of the line.

more audience participation for y'all:

--what songs would you absolutely love to hear at the reception? as in, if we played this song, you'd be so happy that you'd do the dance of joy, perfect strangers style? or, at the very least, nod your head and say "good song" emphatically.

--what songs would you absolutely hate to hear at the reception? as in, if we played this song, you'd walk out and never speak to us again? or, at the very least, you'd boo loudly and chant "new dj!" until a different song came on?

have fun...i can't promise that we'll play your favorites, and knowing me, i'll throw in at least one cringe-worthy song just for laughs. comment away!

And so it begins...

After requesting a credit increase from American Express (the OFFICIAL card of the Urban Therapy Wedding!), we've just sat down and signed the reception contract. Our goal is to have it good, and cheap, and this is what we know is one of our biggest expenses. But this is the first contract we're signing to start paying money. Once again, it's ON...

Perhaps we'll start a "wedding Running Total" on the right side...

Next up, Invitations and Photographer...

sorta kinda update and another ?

thanks to the power of the internet, i managed to find my shoes and order them for like $10 less than nordstrom's site (so take that, nordstrom!). they should be here in a couple of days and hopefully they'll fit and not make me look more ridiculous than necessary.

by next week, we should have official hotel information ready to share w/y'all. and maybe we'll have an official florist by then, too. and registry stuff should theoretically be ready by the end of the month.

out-of-towners: are you planning on renting a car while you're here? leave a comment and let us know. thanks.

happy tuesday!

whining about shoes

i designated yesterday as shoe shopping day. specifically, shoe shopping for the wedding day. thanks to the power that is the internet, i scoped a potential pair of shoes and printed out the style # and all that. i also figured out that i could order them directly from nordstrom's website or go through amazon's apparel store thingy. so i added them to my amazon wish list in my size and color, just to be safe.

first stop: nordstrom on michigan ave. i have a love/hate relationship with nordstrom -- i hate going in there b/c i always (not almost always, but always) spot at least one thing i want to buy. and i hate it b/c it's usually way over my budget or not in my size or something like that. but i love walking around the store and people-watching and trying on things and just hanging out. no, really. when i visited seattle a while back, i spent hours in nordstrom and nordstrom rack. and now a nordstrom rack is opening on state street the week after the wedding. but i digress.

the purpose of the nordstrom trip was to 1) see if they had the shoes i wanted in stock so i could try them on and 2) see if there were any other shoes i wanted. i failed on both counts, but i did indulge in trying things on and hanging out for a bit. i visited a couple other places after that, but my heart wasn't in it.

when i came home, i figured i'd just go ahead and order the shoes online from nordstrom -- if i didn't like them or if they didn't fit, i knew i could send them back with no problem. so i went back to my wish list to figure out if it'd be easier to order them using my amazon account or directly from nordstrom, and my wish list told me that the shoes i'd selected were no longer available in my size and selected color. that spawned a clicking frenzy that ended with me "chatting" with a nordstrom.com rep who told me that yes, the shoes were gone and no, they didn't expect a reorder anytime soon.

so now i must go on a quest to find shoes, which is what i'd hoped to avoid by buying them either in person or online. but no. now i have to find stores that carry shoes made by the manufacturer (not hard, thanks again to the 'net) and either call or visit to see if they have the style i want in the size and color i need, or if they can order them for me. maybe i'll go back to nordstrom to see if they can special order them for me. like i really need an excuse to go back to nordstrom, right?

i really wanted those shoes! with my luck, though, they probably wouldn't have fit and i'd have to return them anyway. bah.

a quick poll

how much is too much to pay per night for a hotel room in downtown chicago in the middle of summer (read = after the taste but before the air & water show)? by downtown, i mean the loop and n. michigan ave. i'm talking just the rate for the room -- no extra charges like parking (that's another topic) and meals and such. keep in mind that chicago has an insane hotel tax of 14.9% per night. leave comments and i'll take them under advisement as i bargain/haggle/negotiate with sales reps. thank you.

Ah, the guest list.

So, e and I are sitting here, figuring out the guest list and if our families and social circles will let us keep to our wish for a small wedding.

That, would be a resounding NO.

Basically, its like this:

People that absolutely, positively, HAVE to be there, including us, the officiant, wedding party, etc. - 31.

Close peoples, old friends, out-of-towners coming in (or telling us they plan to) - 31 more.

One of the things about this here is that we have a mix of people who, under regular circumstamnces, we'd send an announcement: "Hey, we're getting married -wOOt!" But some of these people have taken it amongst themselves to come without actually being invited. (No worries for those of you thinking you're part of this group. This consists mainly of people we're related to.)

So we worked out the A and B list. The contents and members of each list willnot be divulged, but suffice to say that the A list is the afore-mentioned "can't do it without ya" folk. The B list; well, we'll have to work that out, because we don't want to hurt people's feelings by not getting invited, but, then again, we gotta keep it small.

And tomorrow, we get tours of hotels. aw, damn. We're getting deep now...

Argh.

This is what we gotta live up to? Dammit.

Damn you, Alex and Chris. Damn you to hell. For not only having a smooth-ass page, but what seems to be a simple wedding.

Right now, we are in the process of putting together our options, as far as possibilities for food, reception, guest list...

Almost makes a man get an ulcer.

woo-hoo!

my dress is here! now i must go buy shoes 1) so i can see my feet (the dress is that long) and 2) so i can figure out what types of alterations and such need to be made. yay!

just wanted to share...your lives may now continue. :-)

the fight that was(not was)

everybody do the dinosaur! (please leave a comment if you remember that song, ok?)

so today was the day for the much ballyhooed "fight with the family". we were ready to launch "operation decimation" and deal with any aftermath. dealing on certain emotional levels with my family usually gives me a headache and/or makes me cry b/c i get so bloody upset with them.

but it didn't happen! i still don't have a headache and my eyes are remarkably dry...and my family was...and this will blow your mind if you've ever heard me talk about my family...RATIONAL! as in, we actually sat down and had a reasonable discussion about issues surrounding the wedding without screaming, cussing, crying and other explosive behavior. troy and i are still a little shocked...and pissed b/c we had all kinds of ammo just waiting to go KABLOOEY! that we didn't get to use. bah.

so now we can confirm what most of you already know/knew:

--august 2, 2003 @ 11 a.m.
--location: 1st corinthians baptist church, 11359 s. state st. in chicago (i'm sure we'll get directions up before then but mapquest is always a good bet)
--yes, i'm wearing a dress and heels so bring lots of film.
--there may be punch and pie. that's one of the things we're working on with la familia.
--official hotel info will be forthcoming...probably/hopefully w/in the next couple of weeks.

more info on the wedding itself once we get content and tech stuff figured out. and maybe i'll actually find pics of my attendants...heh.

Microphone check, one, two...

Yo.

Here we are again. We thought this would be kinda cool to do. By giving y'all the inside dope on what's going on insofar as planning this wedding and making it until Auugust 2nd, at which point "the rest of our lives" begin, or something. Also, it gives me (the resident geek) a chance to test out MovableType.

Its a work in progress: I know the comment thing looks nothing like the main page. I know the links in the left frame aren't active. If you see something else that doesn't work, let me know. Talk a little shop, talk a little design talk in the comments, if y'all can. Very lottle of this is going to stay the same.

So welcome. And share with us just how screwy this whole process is.

Besides, we only plan to have one of these wedding things...